Why is it so hard for some people to accept the existence of Santa Claus?

Is it because some people can’t imagine living inside the Arctic Circle?

Is it impossible to imagine that Santa has assembled a massive dream-team of elves who work all year round?

Is it because nobody has ever seen a reindeer fly?

Personally, I’m offended. You want to know the truth behind Santa Claus? Well, the truth is, he’s the most prolific innovator of all time.

I will attempt to explain, with reasonable assumptions and an open mind, for how a real man named Santa Claus can do what he does.

1) Santa lives near - not at - the North Pole. Unlike the South Pole, the geographic North Pole does not sit upon a land mass, but amidst frozen waters that are almost permanently covered with shifting ice fields. Therefore, Santa’s Village is not necessarily at the North Pole. It’s probably closer to a rocky island just north of Greenland. With winter temperatures averaging -40 F degrees, it’s also safe to assume Santa’s Village might be an underground lair that has somehow tapped into state-of-the-art geothermal heat and power technology.

2) Comprising what might be the world’s largest individually-owned workforce, Santa’s Elves make the toys all year long. Surely, you’ve never seen an elf anywhere else. Please don’t confuse Santa’s elves with those tree-dwelling liars from Keebler.  You’ve never seen an elf because Santa employs them ALL. And, considering that over 350 million toys need to be made throughout the year, he needs every one of them working 363.5 days a year. They get a half day off to pack the sleigh on Christmas Eve and they sleep all day on Christmas.

3) Santa’s reindeer CAN fly. Though the Canadian caribou might be more prevalent and more popular, scientists have yet to capture any flying breed of reindeer. The fact is, biologists and zoologists claim to have found nearly all the mammal and bird species on earth, but they admit there may be a dozen or so left that are still unrecorded and thus unknown to science. This can only mean that Santa Claus found the flying reindeer first.

4) Santa only needs one night to make gift deliveries. Considering there are over 350 million Christian children who are getting gifts from Santa in any given year, the size and weight of the sleigh must be massive. A sleigh of this magnitude can only operate in a weightless environment... like space. The Christmas Eve space flight clearly explains why we have no photographic evidence of Santa, his sleigh and the flying reindeer in action. Also, because Santa Claus himself only works 1 day a year, he must spend the other 364 days perfecting rocket science and enhancing the reindeers’ genetics. Obviously, it’s necessary for rocket propulsion to launch this sleigh through the atmosphere and into outer space. Also, without significant DNA enhancement, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen would have a hard time navigating the thermosphere.

In summary: Santa’s Village is not the geographic North Pole, but an undeterminable Artic location that may feasibly have been built entirely underground. Santa runs the largest toy company in the world. Santa discovered the only species of reindeer that possess the ability to fly. Santa figured out how to extract geothermal energy in a most impressive way. Furthermore, it should be concluded that Santa Claus is a remarkable genetic engineer and a highly-skilled rocket scientist deserving of our belief and respect.

Everyone has a story. Don't be afraid to tell yours, especially when the best chapters are from your awesome years.

Own it.

Your Slick, Catchy Headline Will Help Editors Notice Your Innovative New Product For People
Your Product Has Features, Benefits Are Many

MILWAUKEE (December 11, 2010) – Your client, boldly proclaimed as the leader in the marketplace, is proud, excited and totally thrilled to announce it’s new product for regular people.

There’s nothing left to say.

Deliver an experience. Tell me a story. Have a conversation.

I like Jason Kintzler's take on conversational pr writing.

 

The business of branding is, in my opinion, a business involved in varying degrees of deception. I love that.

While some branding agencies will note graphic design along with the strategic disciplines of marketing, advertising and PR, they also lay claim to an expertise at the same level of all these independent professional disciplines. That's just a little deceiving, depending on how the branding service is defined.

I won’t disagree with how anyone decides to define the service of branding, because the fact is: consultancies, agencies and even the graphic designers have little control over the brands they serve. All they can control is quality of the brand consultation and the direction they provide to their client's brand.

A brand will still exist independent of any branding tactics. Sure, it’s advisable to engage in any and all branding activities, because public opinion will still shape your brand and individual experiences among the brand’s audience will define the brand for you. That can be scary or great.

But, you already knew that. That’s why I like you. You already knew that ‘social marketing,’ as we thought we knew it, was a creepy concept.

Let me say this: I don’t like being hunted. I feel, more and more, like big brands are hunting me. And, they don’t only want me - they want my friends, too.

Now, more than ever, I feel sorry for the shoppers who can't make a decision without their friends weighing in. But, I also understand that insecurity is my generation’s most exploited feature - and advertisers will continue to take advantage of that.  Don’t get me wrong on this, because I put a huge value on consensus, social media, shared input and user feedback, but I can’t help but feel that every bit of that is being used against us.

Here’s what I imagine is happening inside the boardroom:

In my opinion, it’s easy for a brand to become disingenuous while it tricks us into believing they’re offering us more value. Authenticity is more than thinly veiled good intentions and some pretty words. If you're a brand: It’s all about action and respect.

What’s even more unsettling? The discovery that even while we’re all entirely unique, we’re easily hunted.

You need to become a brand that people seek out, not one that hunts people. Be less invasive and the you won’t suffer the backlash.

i feel like i’m long overdue for an update. i suppose my ninja skillz are weakened by actually producing real "work."

<p>digital ninja from moon stuff on Vimeo.</p>

It's an absurd question, isn't it: "What do you do?"

I'd love to say: "I'm a elementary school teacher." Or, "I operate a crane."  One of those jobs helps bestow the most important thing on Earth: knowledge. The other helps build the world around us. Both are fascinating jobs in different ways, using different skill sets, but similar passions.

I actually "do" a lot of things which all, for the most part, funnel into one real job.

My job is to figure out the most effective ways to engage people with shared interests. 

Until that changes, I'll keep working on finding those effective means for enhancing bonds for interpersonal engagements while discovering new and empowered networks of interests.

Live life simply? Or, just live life as you normally do.

"We live today in a world of ever more stuff - what sometimes seems a deluge of goods and shopping. We tend to assume that this has two results: that we are more superficial and more materialistic, our relationship to things coming at the expense of our relationships to people. We make such assumptions, we speak in cliches, but we have rarely tried to put these assumptions to the test. By the time you finish this book you will discover that, in many ways, the opposite is true; that possessions often remain profound and usually the closer our relationships are with objects, the closer our relationships are with people." - Daniel Miller, The Comfort of Things.

Found on the comfort of the comfort of things.

Always plan for the experience.

You marketers, PR pros and advertising folks can't "create" viral because you can't tactically execute consumer behavior.

Plan for the experiences that you CAN create. Stop wasting your time on crafting the perfect message, because we never regurgitate your message - at least, not how you wanted us to.

Focus on fostering social interaction. Bring us amazing utility. Let us make decisions. Allow us share things.

Also, one more thing: If you keep trying to plan for some end result, then start with a new beginning. It doesn't matter if you're a old-timey shoe cobbler or a quirky new online retailer of custom-printed neckerchiefs... you only need to deliver an experience worth sharing. Plan for that.